Gay couples who have been together for years
The work of a couple: how gay men in relationships come to have faith that “Undetectable = Untransmittable”
Having a relationship based on trust, commitment and familiarity helps Australian queer men rely on undetectable viral load as a means of HIV prevention, according to interviews with HIV-positive and HIV-negative members of serodifferent couples. Confidence in the protective authority of an undetectable viral load is also strengthened by receiving consistent check results after repeated condomless sex, according to a qualitative study recently published in AIDS and Behavior.
Steven Philpot of the Kirby Institute interviewed 21 men who were taking part in Opposites Attract – one of the key studies which demonstrated that HIV-positive people who own an undetectable viral load do not transmit HIV to their sexual partners. Although the first results of the PARTNER study had already been publicised at the time of the interviews (2015-2016), the examination demonstrates that applying scientific data to one’s control life is not always a straightforward process.
Philpot and colleagues suggest that health promotion organisations could help couples to navigate the issues by explaining ‘vi
My three weddings: Life as a gay man in China
A cruise ship leaves Shanghai for a mass wedding of gay couples in defiance of China's laws and social norms. Foreign Correspondent is on board to film the event.
One of the organisers is Shanghai activist and businessman Rongfeng Duan. This is his story.
As the traditional Chinese wedding anthem begins, I choke advocate tears and recall three marriages — all very different, all landmarks in my life.
I first met Li online. It was the early 2000s.
Back then there were no gay dating apps, so I used to examine the BBS student website.
That's where I saw photos of handsome Li. I added him as a friend on the Chinese chatting app QQ, and we started to communicate online.
Maybe I touched an emotional chord when I said goodnight one occasion. Anyway, Li gave me his phone number.
I called him the next sunlight. We talked for four hours — the longest phone call I ever had in my being. Our relationship was confirmed.
I was in Shanghai. Li was in Sichuan province, about 2,000 kilometres apart.
In two years of long-distance romance, we could only meet during holidays. We wrote more than 300 love letters to each other.
To save for move ex
I had the opportunity to talk with psychotherapist and composer Michael Dale Kimmel about his recent book, The Queer Man's Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage. Having written a book of my own on modern marriage, I am particularly interested in how Kimmel not only provides a necessarily specific guide for male/male marriages, but also how this wisdom can be utilized by all couples, regardless of gender. Our conversation is below.
MOC: Reveal me about The Gay Man's Manual to Open and Monogamous Marriage.
MDK: I began offering workshops for gay, bisexual person, and transgender men about eighteen years’ ago, and after a couple of years there were always a rare guys who came up to me and said (in whispered tones), “You’ve got to lay this stuff in a book.” I had no want to write a book at that time. But I did start writing my advice column, “Life Beyond Therapy” soon after, for local LGBT newspapers. I asked readers to send in questions. (Boy, did they ever!)
Then about five years ago, a author friend of mine recommended me to a publisher, who asked me to submit an thought for a publication. I did. They liked it. I was in shock.
My editor was very encouraging and wanted me to send him brand-new stu
Gay Relationship Advice: Age Gaps in Homosexual Relationships
Many of my LGBTQ counseling clients ask me why they are only attracted to homosexual men younger than themselves. If you are happy online dating gay men in their twenties, then this question is not important. It’s like asking “Why do I choose blondes over brunettes?” My advice is to let yourself enjoy dating whomever interests you (as long as they are over the age of 18).
Age gap relationships are more common than you may understand. In western countries:
- 1 out of every twelve male/female couples has an age gap of 10 years or more
- that number increase to 25% in male/male couples
- and 15% of female/female relationships
That similar study indicated that age gap partners are more satisfied and more devoted to each other than partners of similar age–though there is some study that points to a correlation with higher rates of divorce. Research also shows that couples with an age gap of less than ten years are happier than those with an age gap greater than ten years. You can uncover more details on these stats on this episode of the podcast I Love You Too, by Psychotherapist, Internet dating Coach, Couples Counselor Jessica Engle,
OK, so, you’re gay, and you want to discover a partner and eventually a husband; someone with whom to share your life. However, you just can’t seem to see the right guy or make the right connection. You keep coming up empty-handed, stymied in your efforts, no matter what you try. All of this talk of legalized marriage just seems to make things worse, adding pressure from friends, family, and even yourself.
You consider that maybe it’s just not possible for male lover men to have long-term relationships. There must be some truth to the old joke: “What does a gay man carry on a second date?” Response: “What second date?” You would be ready to throw in the towel, if it weren’t for your best ally who met someone and is now in a happy relationship for the past two years—or that middle-aged couple who dwell in your building and who just celebrated 25 years together with a trip to Paris. So you end up wondering, “What’s the matter with me? What am I doing wrong?”
As an openly gay man with over 30 years of life as a therapist, I have seen scores of single gay men sabotage their efforts to uncover a partner, placing obstacles in their own path—without having the slightest thought as to what they a