What to do when i am gay
Hi. I’m the Answer Wall. In the material earth, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online world, I inhabit in this blog. You might say I possess multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of information, like a ghost in the machine.
I have some human assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to research tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.
If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t thought talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they possess been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are concealed, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just like me, The Answer Wall.
5 Tips to Overcome Your Loneliness as a Gay Man
Updated April 18, 2025
by Clinton Power, psychotherapist and Gay Therapy Center guest blogger
Unfortunately, struggling with feelings of loneliness and isolation is frequent in the same-sex attracted community despite the focus on affection and relationships. Sometimes you might effort with making connections at all, and other times you may feel “alone in a crowded room” because it’s so hard to forge true connections.
Let’s explore how you can constructively deal with feelings of loneliness and distribute a life you’re excited to live!
Why do gay men get lonely?
Loneliness is, in some ways, part of the gay experience. The prevalence of loneliness was significantly higher among adults who identified as queer (41.2%). Since everyone is assumed to be heterosexual, we all start out in the closet. The stress of not being out is emotional more than rational, but it takes its toll. Even before you came out to yourself, on some level you might have acknowledged you couldn’t fulfill expectations of a heterosexual life. You may have grown up feeling distinct and separated from the majority.
After you’re out of the closet, things don’t necessarily improve right away
How Do I Understand If I Am Gay? Signs You Are Gay
Particularly when young, some people may ask, "How do I comprehend if I am gay?" if they have conflicting sexual feelings. When it comes down to it, there is no reliable "Am I Gay test", so the only way to understand that you are gay (definition of gay) is to look within yourself to determine your own thoughts and feelings towards others of the equal sex. You might also want to consider the possibility that you are neither gay nor straight and are bisexual or just curious.
There are also signs that you might be lgbtq+ to consider.
Signs You Are Gay
There is no one way that gay people act or gaze – gay people are just as diverse as vertical people. Just because you are a man who is effeminate or a woman who is boyish, that does not mean that you're necessarily lgbtq+. So don't collapse into the trap of thinking that your clothes, hair or attitude determines your sexuality.
When looking at the signs you are lgbtq+, you might desire to ask yourself these questions:1
- Have I ever been sexually attracted to the same sex?
- Do I feel strong feeling bonds to the same sex?
- Am I physically attracted to the same sex?
- Have I considered having a sexual relation
How to Tell My Family and Friends I Am Gay
No matter what your relationship is with your parents or other essential people in your existence, coming out can be nerve-wracking. It is, however, a rite of corridor and ensures that you do not have to have to spend so much time and heartfelt energy hiding a large part of who you are from some of the most important people in your life. Whether you are expecting rejection or acceptance, telling your family and friends about your sexual identity is an important step. Still, many people want to know how to inform my family and friends I am gay. Here are some suggestions to make the process easier:
1. Consider your audience’s comfort level when talking about sex.
Sex in general is a taboo topic and sexual orientation falls under the umbrella of sex. Considering your audience’s comfort level on this topic will help you settle how to approach your audience. If you arrange to tell your parents about your sexual culture, just from being raised by these two people you will have an idea about their comfort level when discussing sex-related topics. If you are talking with your parents, this doesn’t mean you should hold back. Rather, this
How To Come Out As Gay – 6 Phases From The Experts
Contents
1. Coming Out To Yourself
2. Coming Out To Friends
3. Coming Out To Family
4. Coming Out Across Identities
5. Reconciling Sexuality and Spirituality
5. Letting People See You As Queer
6. Reclaiming Your Desires
7. Continuing to Live Openly
8. Assessing Safety and Support
9. Finding Support and Community
Coming out might just be the hardest, yet most rewarding thing you’ll ever do. It surely was for me, on both accounts.
As I reflect assist on that 22 year-old who made the bold decision to tell his parents, I realize that I was doing something more profound than just uttering important words to my folks. I was shifting the trajectory of my life, playing the lead role in my own life’s tale. I was allowing my validity to blossom. And much like a flower, my blossoming happened in phases. I hear these coming out phases echoing in queer people’s lives every day. Learn about sexuality counseling here!
1. Coming Out To Yourself
Coming out to ourselves is a big step in honesty. It’s one small thing to exclaim, but a massive thing to let be true. When we admit