Help im gay and i dont know what to do
March 02, 2017
The Epidemic of
Gay LonelinessBy Michael Hobbes
I
“I used to get so delighted when the meth was all gone.”
This is my companion Jeremy.
“When you contain it,” he says, “you have to keep using it. When it’s gone, it’s like, ‘Oh good, I can go back to my life now.’ I would keep up all weekend and go to these sex parties and then undergo like shit until Wednesday. About two years ago I switched to cocaine because I could work the next day.”
Jeremy is telling me this from a hospital bed, six stories above Seattle. He won’t tell me the exact circumstances of the overdose, only that a stranger called an ambulance and he woke up here.
Jeremy is not the confidant I was expecting to have this conversation with. Until a few weeks ago, I had no idea he used anything heavier than martinis. He is trim, intelligent, gluten-free, the caring of guy who wears a operate shirt no matter what day of the week it is. The first time we met, three years ago, he asked me if I knew a good place to do CrossFit. Today, when I ask him how the hospital’s been so far, the first thing he says is that there’s no Wi-F
Hi. I’m the Respond Wall. In the material world, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online nature, I live in this blog. You might say I have multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of knowledge, enjoy a ghost in the machine.
I hold some human assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to study tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.
If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t mind talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they have been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are hidden, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just fond me, The Respond Wall.
Mental health support if you're lesbian, gay, double attraction or trans (LGBTQ+)
Mental health problems such as depression or self-harm can affect any of us, but they're more shared among people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBTQ+).
This may be linked to LGBTQ+ people's experience of discrimination, homophobia or transphobia, bullying, social isolation, or rejection because of their sexuality.
Other things, such as their age, religion, where they dwell, and their ethnicity can combine extra complications to an already difficult situation.
How talking therapy can help
It might not be easy, but getting help with issues you're struggling to deal with on your own is one of the most important things you can do.
Talking with a therapist who's trained to serve with LGBTQ+ people may help with issues such as:
- difficulty accepting your sexual orientation
- coping with other people's reactions to your sexuality
- feeling your body does not reflect your true gender (gender dysphoria)
- transitioning
- low self-esteem
- self-harm
- suicidal thoughts
- depression
- coping with bullying and discrimination
- anger, isolation or rejection from family, friends or your community
- fear of v
5 Tips to Overcome Your Loneliness as a Homosexual Man
Updated April 18, 2025
by Clinton Power, psychotherapist and Gay Therapy Center guest blogger
Unfortunately, struggling with feelings of loneliness and isolation is common in the gay community despite the focus on love and relationships. Sometimes you might struggle with making connections at all, and other times you may perceive “alone in a crowded room” because it’s so hard to forge correct connections.
Let’s explore how you can constructively deal with feelings of loneliness and share a life you’re excited to live!
Why execute gay men get lonely?
Loneliness is, in some ways, part of the lgbtq+ experience. The prevalence of loneliness was significantly higher among adults who identified as gay (41.2%). Since everyone is assumed to be heterosexual, we all start out in the closet. The stress of not being out is emotional more than rational, but it takes its toll. Even before you came out to yourself, on some level you might have known you couldn’t fulfill expectations of a heterosexual life. You may have grown up feeling different and separated from the majority.
After you’re out of the closet, things don’t necessarily develop right away
by Fred Penzel, PhD
This article was initially published in the Winter 2007 edition of the OCD Newsletter.
OCD, as we know, is largely about experiencing grave and unrelenting doubt. It can cause you to doubt even the most basic things about yourself – even your sexual orientation. A 1998 analyze published in the Journal of Sex Research create that among a community of 171 college students, 84% reported the occurrence of sexual intrusive thoughts (Byers, et al. 1998). In order to possess doubts about one’s sexual identity, a sufferer require not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. I have observed this symptom in adolescent children, adolescents, and adults as well. Interestingly Swedo, et al., 1989, found that approximately 4% of children with OCD experience obsessions concerned with forbidden hostile or perverse sexual thoughts.
Although doubts about one’s retain sexual identity might sound pretty straightforward as a symptom, there are actually a number of variations. The most obvious build is where a sufferer experiences the thought that they might be of a different sexual orientation than they formerly believed. If the su